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Self-talk

What is self-talk?
In the mid 1950s, a psychologist and therapist called Albert Ellis devised a therapy called Rational Emotive Therapy. Interested in philosophy and the importance of thinking as well as feeling, he was very frustrated with lengthy and often, as he saw it, unsuccessful Freudian strategies of unravelling the unconscious mind. He intuitively rejected the humanist approaches of therapists such as Carl Rogers, finding them indulgent, and thought that 'respecting people's feelings' was not necessarily conducive to getting people to change their unhelpful responses and behaviours. His work was controversial and unfashionable in his field for many years. The main criticism was that it did not focus enough on feeling states and their associated meanings for individuals.

In recent years, his approach has become very popular. It is widely viewed as an efficient way to change people's unhelpful negative thinking patterns, and offers some relatively simple tools for people to work with and practise. It is currently known as Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, Cognitive Behavioural Therapy and, sometimes, Cognitive Therapy.

A core plank of this approach is that it is not the events in our lives that cause us problems, but rather our 'faulty' thinking about them. This faulty thinking stems, Ellis argued, from the irrational beliefs that we hold. These beliefs include the following.

I must be loved and approved of by almost everyone.
I must be thoroughly competent at almost everything.
If things aren't the way 'they should be', it is catastrophic.
External forces (including other people) largely control my happiness and there is little I can do to change my feelings.
I am mostly defined by my past history (eg some events have ruined my chances of being happy).

Although consciously we may reject the above propositions (in written form they are clearly irrational), they still may well inform some of our responses. Cognitive behavioural techniques can offer ways of reframing these responses and developing a more objective and positive outlook. The process involves being prepared to take responsibility for what you feel and think.

Some school-related scenarios
A teacher in a primary school setting has worked full-time for 20 years and during that time has experienced many changes in policy and professional and parental expectations of the teaching role. She now spends significant time on a range of projects and initiatives that go beyond what was once seen as 'the curriculum'. She has always been respected for the positive relationships she has with students and for their educational achievements.

What might Ellis regard as 'faulty thinking' in her following statements? And what might he identify as an 'irrational underlying belief'?

'The trouble with having to be involved in so many programs is that I'm not spending enough time on important areas like literacy skills.'
'The department doesn't care about reality for us here on the coalface, they just expect more and more from us.'
'I don't mind giving up my weekends, I just wish I wasn't so exhausted all the time.'

Checking our own self-talk
Self-monitor some of the things that you say about aspects of your working life - especially the things you typically say when you are not thinking. It can be helpful to write statements down in a journal for reflection and analysis. Consider your statement/s with the following issues in mind.

Could the statement be positively reframed? What would it look like?
Does the statement hold external events or people responsible for your feelings?
Does the statement embody an expectation that others should be different than they are?
Does the statement contain an underlying belief that you may not be 'good enough'?
Does the statement assume that you cannot change things?
Does the statement assume that life is being unfair to you?

If your 'self in relation to work' statements often hold negative beliefs like the ones suggested above, you could find techniques that examine self-talk and the beliefs that drive it helpful. Learning to change these responses may change the mood that goes with them.

For comprehensive information about all aspects of Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy, go to:
http://www.psychnet-uk.org/x_new_site/psychotherapy/psychotherapy_rational_emotive_behaviour_therapy.html